So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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