Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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