Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
