Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
