Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize