I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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