ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish i was in the wii world.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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