We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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