I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
