Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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