you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
