You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
