Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
