I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
