he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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