doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
