So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
