just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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