I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize