She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
