if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
