So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize