Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Who died my cat blue again?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
