I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
its not stalking. its research.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
