Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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