found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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