the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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