I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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