Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
