If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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