It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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