I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
