I didn't shave. On purpose
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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