OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
