i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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