smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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