you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
