is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
