Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
