fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
