I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
