Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
