everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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