Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
