He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
