real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
