We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize