guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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