STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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