her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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