why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
