Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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