i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
