This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We are all done wearing pants today
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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