I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
