Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
