I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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