it was like his penis was on wheels.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
