everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Is Oprah even human
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
