But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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