they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
