my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
