Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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